defining moments

I believe in defining moments, those points in life where events and decisions - good and bad - bring a person to a crossroads.  I believe that these are the times when true character is built...for better or worse. 

It's cliché.  Cheesy even.  I know this, but I don't think it makes it any less true.  Here's what I think about it:

Defining moments are divided into two categories:  things that happen to you and choices you make.

Things that happen to you are things completely out of your control.  Death, for instance.  And these things don't have to all be bad things either...good things happen all of the time, too.  Like a new sibling (I guarantee you that I had no control in the matter when my parents presented me with a brother and then a sister, but they were good things that happened, and they played a part in defining my character).

The second category is the choices we make.  Choices, of course, are good and bad.  There are the obvious bad ones:  drugs and stealing and lying, etc.  And there are the obvious good ones:  college and marriage and family, etc. 

But categorizing defining moments is just the beginning.  After all, things happen to each and everyone of us every day.  And we make choices every single day.  Not all are deeply impactful.  No, those moments are fewer and farther between.

And its not just about what happens or what choices were made or how impactful it was, it's about what we do with those things once they are sitting in our laps and staring us in the face.  Do we let it beat us down or do we pick ourselves up?  Do we learn from it or do we keep repeating the same things again and again?  What kind of character do we display in these moments and how does it shape our future moments?  

I believe in defining moments.

And lately, I've been thinking about defining moments a lot.  My moments.

I'm in that place right now, at my very own crossroads once again.  I've been sitting on the fence for too long, just waiting for someone else to take action, to force me to fall off on one side or the other.  It's like I'd rather react than take on the responsibility of action.  Action is scary.  It requires making a change.

But I did it.  I got off the fence.  It wasn't graceful, and it's not going down in history as my shiniest moment.  And now I'm standing at another crossroads created by another one of my defining moments.

I believe in defining moments.


And I believe in marriage and family.

I choose my marriage and my family. 

Again.

For better or worse.