Except I didn't feel any better.
I called my husband up around one while I was pumping (had to squeeze that particular activity in between the students leaving and the meeting beginning), and at one point I was nearly in tears as we discussed some of the big stresses going on in our world right now. At that point I decided it was time to drop the bum attitude. Shake it off. Move on. Have a good rest of the day.
And I did.
I picked the boys up from day care, stopped at home to change clothes, pack a diaper bag, and feed Gavin, and then we were off to the park for a picnic and play time. It was sunny and just the right temperature. I completely lost track of time and all my worries as I played with my boys. Swinging, sliding, climbing, digging...if it could be done at the park, we did it.
I love my children. I love that spending time with them is like a breath of fresh air. They have no worries or fears or insecurities. They are free. They are children, and when I truly stop what I'm doing and just immerse myself in spending time with them, I feel free too. Free to focus on all the things in life that are really important. Faith, love, family, laughter, fun....what else really matters but those things?