So there I was at 10 in the morning on my birthday hooked to a pitocin drip wondering what the heck had happened to my day. I called Justin, told him what was up, and then told him not to rush over 'cuz nothing was happening and nothing would be happening for awhile. See, my doctor may have decided that it was time for me to have a baby, but my uterus was still sealed up tighter than Ft. Knox. Since my uterus was "unfavorable for labor" the doctor was not expecting me to actually deliver Logan until the next day. So Justin worked until his lunch hour and then popped in...and still nothing was happening.
And "nothing" basically describes what happened for the next eight hours. Around mid-afternoon I did start to actually feel some very mild contractions...but then they went away. Before he left for the evening the doctor came to check me and due to my lack of "progress" (only 1 whole centimeter after an entire day of pitocin) he decided that I should continue to receive pitocin through the night even though he had originally promised me the "night off." My first thought was "oh big deal...this is easy cheesy." My only complaint at that point was that I was still technically on bed rest so all I was allowed to do was lay in bed. Bah!
I spoke (thought) much to soon.
Around six that evening I was slammed with pain. And I was confused; I wasn't feeling contractions that came and went. I was having one continuous-never-ending-most-painful-cramp-in-my-life contraction. After about an hour of this I told the nurse. She looked at the monitor and told me that the monitor wasn't registering any contractions - was I sure? Uhhh, YES! So she checked me, but I was still only 1 centimeter. She told me to try to get some sleep and left.
Sleep didn't come and the pain just got worse. The nurse came in around nine that night to check me again. Still only ONE freakin' centimeter! As she was leaving I felt a gush. "Uhhh, I think my water just broke." The nurse looked at me like I was crazy and then humored me by checking. Oh, and guess who was right? Yeah, me. My water had broken! And from this point on the night just went downhill.
The constant pain continued ALL NIGHT LONG. And never once did that darn monitor I was attached to register a single contraction! Oh, and my husband, no help what-so-ever. He was the only one getting any sleep! I tried IV medication around one in the morning, and the first time through it helped...for about 45 minutes. But after that, the meds couldn't even take the edge off. The nurse began backing off my pitocin drip, but that didn't help much either. Finally about 4:00 she turned the pitocin drip off completely because Logan's heart rate was starting to drop, and an hour or so later the pain eased up enough for me to doze a little.
At 7:00 a.m. I my new "day" nurse came into see me. She had been informed about the trouble Logan and I had through the night and informed me that when she checked me if I had still not made it past 1 centimeter that a c-section may be my only option. Ugh... The checking commenced and the verdict: ONE CENTIMETER - STILL! But, she felt that despite that my cervix was sufficiently "changed." She left to talk to my doctor who came in, performed his own examination, and agreed. It was decided that my pitocin would be turned back on and cranked up big time. And then he told the nurse to order the epidural - WITH OUT even asking ME if I wanted it (at the time I didn't want one), but I was too pooped - and scared - to protest. Keeping my mouth shut at that time was the smartest thing I've ever done!
At 7:30 my pitocin was turned back on and by 8:00 I had finally discovered what contractions could feel like...and looked like on the monitor (mine just happened to have double peaks - not pleasant). There was no denying it now - I was in labor.
And this is where I insert my personal opinion on pitocin. It is a drug created by the devil himself. It is awful in the fact that it makes contractions come very hard and very fast. I would never voluntarily choose to be induced "just because." End of personal opinion; now back to the story.
My magic epidural man arrived around nine and by 9:30 I was pain free. Ahhhh... At this point I was able to doze in and out of sleep. Every time I woke up I saw one of my two nurses at my side. I thought that was normal. Shows what I know! Turns out my contractions were causing Logan's heart rate to drop substantially so we needed to be very closely monitored. At one point they had to start pumping fluid back into my uterus (remember my water had broked twelve hours before) to help try and cushion Logan from the contractions. I was also given extra fluids and eventually had to go on oxygen as well. And the worse part: I wasn't allowed to move! I was carefully propped on my left side in a way that was best for Logan and I had to stay there! Thankfully I was able to continue laboring.
At noon I was declared fully dialated and ready to push. The doctor came down to watch my first push, told me nice work, and took off to the clinic again expecting it to be awhile before Logan appeared. He was so wrong! Before I could even finish my third push the nurses were telling me to stop; Logan was right there and they needed to get the doctor (due to the complications in pregnancy and labor they were unwilling to deliver Logan with out the doctor present and a pediatrician near by). By the time they got a hold of him and he got back to my room we had been waiting almost twenty minutes. Then it was time to push again...I couldn't believe that after 38 weeks and 27 hours of labor I was about to meet my baby! Logan literally shot out on my fourth push...and he was beautiful. My first thought was he looks like Justin.
The cord was cut and Logan was quickly whisked away to be checked out before I could hold him. Turns out they were all worried for no reason! Though he weighed in at only 5lbs. 3oz. he was in perfect health. The nurse wrapped him up and handed him to Justin who promptly carried him over to me. Seeing my husband hold our child - amazing!
And that first moment of holding my baby, our wedding gift from God, well, there are no words to describe it. It was just that beautiful!
5 lbs. 3 oz.
18 inches long
I honestly can't believe that all of this happened four year ago already... More amazing yet: On that day I couldn't imagine how I could love him any more than I did in that moment, and today I'm left realizing that I already love him more than ever. And even though he is four years old today and will continue to grow every day, Logan will always be my baby.