Sunday, June 12, 2011

I'm jealous...of a baby bottle

In the last two weeks this has become an all too common site in our kitchen...
Yes those are dirty bottles, yes that is a can of formula, no these things were not found in our house before, and yes it makes me sad.  For nine months Gavin nursed exclusively at home and had pumped breast milk at day care, but in the last month things have started to change.  As his desire for "real" food has increased, his desire to nurse has decreased.  In fact, it has become almost non-existent.  He's only taking maybe 15 oz of formula a day and probably would drink water/juice/cow's milk instead if I gave it to him, but he's only 10 months old... 

Today, for the first time in his entire life, he did not nurse at all.  Today when I got out the morning bottle his eyes lit up and his little hands reached for it, and I got jealous of that bottle.  He'd rather have it than me.  Okay, well that is not entirely true.  He still wants to cuddle with me while he drinks it.  That makes it better I guess...

Truth is, I don't really care if he nurses or takes a bottle.  (Don't get me wrong, I love nursing, but in the end the method of feeding isn't as important as the nourishment and bonding time it provides.)  I do however care that this step is a step toward toddlerhood and away from babyhood.  It's all just gone by so darn fast! 

The thing about being a mama, about parenthood, is that it is such a big jumble of emotions.  On one hand I'm so excited to see each milestone reached, but on the other, I'm sad to let go.  Moving into each new phase of growth and development means leaving a piece of something else behind.  In this case our move towards table food means letting go of nursing. 

When it is all said and done though I know that I have a very happy and healthy baby toddler.  That alone is enough to make this Mama happy.  And I think he's pretty happy...how about you?

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